Sunday, June 5, 2011

Bio

Hey folks. I thought I’d tell you a little bit about myself.

I was born in Karachi, Pakistan in 1990. I don’t know the precise date on which I was born, because recently after my birth the Taliban abducted me. You see, my biological mother died giving birth to me, and I was the only white baby in the Hospital in Karachi. A few days after my birth, the Doctor’s still hadn’t decided what to do with me, and huge riots began in the city. Funnily enough, Osama Bin Laden was the leader of the revolutionaries protesting in the city. He was shot twice and taken to the Karachi Hospital (controlled by the rebels), where I was. All the rooms were full and he was forced to share a room with a dozen newborns. He spent 10 days in the hospital, and by the end of his time in the hospital, I was the only infant left in the hospital. Bin Laden decided to take me with him. He flew to Riyadh were his whole family lived. He left me with his mother and father and then he left back to Pakistan. I never saw him again.

For the first six years of my life, the Bin Laden family raised me - mainly with Osama’s mother. She spent most of the year in London, so I was educated there. I went to the best primary school there - the Royal Elementary. There I studied with Charles’ two boys: William and Harry; along with a handful of other immensely wealthy children from extremely powerful families.

When I was seven, my father finally tracked me down. It had only taken him seven years, 42 private detectives, and the help from the CIA and the NSA. If my father hadn’t had all those connections in the States, he would have never found me. He picked me up in London and took me to his home in New York. By this time, my Father had already re-married and had one two-year-old daughter. I haven’t talked Hamida al-Attas ever since...

My father has never allowed me to step into any Arab country since he lost me at birth. I can understand why, but he must understand that I'm twenty-one now, and that I can handle my own affairs. I want to see the woman that raised me as a young child again. Even though she is in an odd position in the world, seeing that she raised Osama and all, she raised me. She loved me and I loved her. I really want to see her again before it’s too late. I’ve heard rumors that she was diagnosed with breast cancer and that she doesn’t have too much time. She no longer spends any time in London, since the death of her son. Hopefully, I’ll be able to make my way into Riyadh without my father knowing. God willing…

A Little Update

Hey Bloggers. What’s up? I haven’t blogged in such a long time – I’ve been really busy. I’ve got semester finals pretty soon, so I’ve been studying like a mad man. I made a bet with my father in relation to my grades. He says that I can’t get all A-/A’s on my semester report card, and I say I can. If I win, he buys me a nice watch – I get to choose the one I want, if I loose, nothing happens. So, yeah – I really want a nice watch. I have to get really good grades…

So, what’s new in my life: I’m going to UC Berkeley this summer for a month. I’m going to take the courses Introduction to Economics, Marketing and Advertising, and Personal Fitness. I’m really looking forward to going. Believe it or not, apparently Berkeley is a culinary capitol of the world. I was reading in a Berkeley tour book that one could find every type of restaurant there. Food is a big thing in my life. For the past three years I went to a camp in Brewster, Cape Cod and the food was sooooooo bad!!! Campers and parents generally get to the camp and are utterly amazed at the beauty of the camp, but after one meal – their thoughts on the camp aren’t very good. Cape Cod Sea Camps in the name of the place. I’m pretty psyched about the food in Berkeley; I’ll probably eat every meal out, for a whole month. It’s going to be awesome.

What else is new in my life? My sister just graduated from NYU, and I’m really proud and happy for her. As you guys probably know, most college graduates now a day have extreme difficulties finding jobs. My sister graduated with high honors, and she has nothing to do. I imagine she’s going to milk of my parents until she finds something to do. She is actually moving to Kuala Lumpur in about two weeks because her boyfriend lives there. Of all places, she has to move to a location 17 hours away. It’s absurd. Why couldn’t she have moved to somewhere a little closer...

I’d love to hear more about your lives. Feel free to post any comments below, or email me. You can find my email through my blogster account. Alrighty, I’m gona go now. See you later

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Movie Criteria


You know, I really dislike people that postpone great movies and TV shows. You know that they are movie and show lovers, so you go out of your way to tell them great things you’ve watched, but they end up never watching anything. They always have the same lame excuse of “oh, I’ve been really busy” or “I didn’t have time this weekend. Maybe the next one.” I would totally understand if they had more of a valid excuse for not watching anything, like “No, I couldn’t watch it this weekend because my parents are in town” or something like, “Naa, couldn’t watch it this weekend. I left to Bogota for my friends wedding.” Even if a person lied to me and told me they’d watched something, when in fact they hadn’t, I would be satisfied for getting with myself.
Sometimes I think that people don’t trust my criteria for films, and there is nothing, and I say absolutely nothing, that pisses me of more than that. Geez, do people really think that I’d recommend any old crap movie I watch? I recommend the things that I like, to the people I like.
What evahh… people should listen to me more…

Here is a list of recent things I’ve watched:


Jackass 3D: so if you are into crazy ass movie’s than this is for you. A team of seven guys pretty much brake things and hurt themselves for a living. It’s a very funny movie, but a little bit on the wild side.

The Kids are Alright: very serious movie that slightly toys with emotions. I had an immense family debate after watching this movie. There is excellent acting (Annete Benning – a main character – won the golden globe for best actress) and great cinematography.


V: cool TV show. It is very science fictiony, but it’s pretty cool. It is more of a real science fiction, that an insane science fiction. Honestly, I’ve seen better shows.


In previous blog posts I have mentioned movies, which are all pretty much excellent (except for some of the over done movie sequels).
What evahh…

Hasta la pizza babies!